Common attributes that come to mind include intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, attractiveness, or reliability. We may think we are looking for a partner who complements us only in positive ways, but on an unconscious level, we are frequently drawn to people who complement us in negative ways as well. What this means is that we tend to pick partners who fit in with our existing emotional baggage. We are inclined to replay events and dynamics that hurt us in the past in our adult relationships.
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